Friday, September 27, 2013

My GPS

I have a little GPS
I've had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My GPS is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing sixty-five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still giving me advice
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes my shirts and underwear
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off


I showed this little ditty to my Wife and asked her if it reminded her of anyone
she knew...... she just laughed

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